I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize