Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
there is glitter all over my balls
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
