you guys were way drunker than both of me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
