I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize