She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
