awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize