Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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