i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
