yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
