hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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