I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
