I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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