Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
