I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
