Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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