Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
