I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
