I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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