i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
