Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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