It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize