I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We're too hungover to prance.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
