Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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