your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
