i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
