There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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