Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
