erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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