I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
