apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
