Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
