There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This house was built for laser tag.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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