so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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