I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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