u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
