he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
how does that bad decision feel?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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