My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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