You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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