U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
