we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
