I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
