i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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