...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
