Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
