so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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