Sry I called you an 8
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
