i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He better not be in your backpack
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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