I think I died a long time ago.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
