I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
