A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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