I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
