so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
