maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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