never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
