My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
where am i from again
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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