You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
