erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
