You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize