STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
