I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
