hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
