If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
