and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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